Natalie White has a wound that will never heal.
Her 19-year-old son was killed in a motorcycle accident two years ago and White says the loss still fills her with a numbing pain that will never go away.
She鈥檚 been waiting since then to find out the details of what actually happened in the accident.
White鈥檚 son died June 20, 2018 when his motorcycle collided with an SUV on 181A Street at the 61B Avenue intersection.
But in the ensuing court case, a stay of proceedings was entered and the case never went to trial. With no court hearing, White said, the family was denied closure, with no opportunity to hear the driver鈥檚 account of the event, and whether he had any regrets to express.
White had always wanted to hear from the other driver, to find out what happened and to help her find some closure.
What White didn鈥檛 know was the other driver was desperate to find some closure too.
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When White reached out in early June in an effort to contact the other driver, that driver, Johnny Forrest was thankful.
鈥淲hen I saw that article in the Cloverdale Reporter, it made my day,鈥� said Forrest, a Cloverdale resident. 鈥淪he showed compassion toward me. I wanted to find some closure as well.鈥�
White and Forrest finally got that closure when they met just days before the two-year anniversary of Andrew鈥檚 death.
鈥淐an I give you a hug?鈥� White asked, tears streaming down her cheeks.
鈥淚 wanted to do this two years ago,鈥� Forrest replied, as the two embraced. 鈥淔or me this is closure too. I wanted to show you some compassion and love. I can鈥檛 thank you enough.鈥�
Forrest and White met in the common room of White鈥檚 complex.
鈥淚 wanted you to know that I don鈥檛 blame you,鈥� said White.
鈥淚鈥檝e never been the same,鈥� Forrest said, his thick Scottish accent muffled underneath a facemask. 鈥淓ver since then, I can鈥檛 go on that road anymore.鈥�
Forrest expressed his 鈥渄eepest regrets鈥� for what had happened that day and explained to White how he saw the crash unfold.
鈥淚 was taking my granddaughter home and I was making a left-hand turn,鈥� remembered Forrest, now 85. 鈥淚 could see your son coming up the road and I says, 鈥楤oy! He鈥檚 a-movin.鈥� You know?鈥�
Forrest said he was stopped, waiting for Futerko to pass when Forrest鈥檚 granddaughter cried out, 鈥淧apa John, his handlebars are wobbling.鈥�
That鈥檚 when Forrest said Futerko鈥檚 bike changed course and collided head on with Forrest鈥檚 bumper.
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Forrest said he then did something he shouldn鈥檛 have. He said his granddaughter was screaming and he had to get her out of there.
鈥淚 reversed my car, went way back, and then around, and parked my car on the side road,鈥� he explained.
Forrest said the crash affected his heart and he had to get a heart valve replaced.
鈥淚鈥檒l never get over it,鈥� Forrest added.
The two talked a lot about the facts of the accident. White wondered about all the little details of the collision and everything that led up to it.
She kept wondering what 鈥� if anything 鈥� could have gone differently that day, or in those final moments, and changed the outcome of her son鈥檚 life. What could have prevented him from being on that road at that precise instant? What minor thing could have altered his final moments and given Andrew more time?
鈥淗e had a lot on his mind that day,鈥� explained White. 鈥淗is brain was elsewhere. He was supposed to go to grad that night with a girl and he cancelled on her.鈥�
White said Andrew had spoken with the girl just before the crash and had told her he would call her when he got home.
鈥淚 feel like he was probably thinking about that and not paying attention to the road.鈥�
White said the last two years have been very hard for her. She keeps little reminders of Andrew around because she鈥檚 scared of losing precious memories. She has a locket with a picture of her and her son and she has his name tattooed on her arm. She鈥檚 getting another tattoo June 20 of some artwork Andrew made when he was a little boy.
She said she didn鈥檛 go to the spot where Andrew died until a month after the accident.
White said many have tried to comfort her by telling her it was just an accident. But White said if she views it as an accident, she will just want to assign blame and that will make her angry.
鈥淚 do believe, 100 per cent, that that was his day,鈥� said White, choking back tears. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 what I have to believe in my heart. Or else, the only other thing is to blame you 鈥� or him. Or me for allowing him to ride that bike. I didn鈥檛 want him to ride that thing and I didn鈥檛 know how to stop him. I beat myself up every day about that.鈥�
鈥淭his is how I鈥檝e gotten my peace,鈥� White added, eeking out her words through tears. 鈥淚 wanted to try to share that with you: that was his day.鈥�
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鈥淭hat date鈥檚 gonna be in my head the rest of my life,鈥� said Forrest. 鈥淚鈥檓 like you. I鈥檓 trying to heal too and get over the shock of it. It was a shock!鈥� he exclaimed.
鈥淚 will never be the same person,鈥� Forrest added. 鈥淚鈥檓 trying to heal, but I never will because I was part of that tragic situation.鈥�
As White and Forrest conversed, they discovered that White鈥檚 dad grew up in Scotland 鈥� not far from where Forrest had grown up. (White subsequently passed along Forrest鈥檚 phone number to her father in Ontario and the two had a long chat about life and Scotland.)
And they talked about Andrew.
鈥淗e was a funny character. I鈥檇 love to show you some videos of him, if we can meet again,鈥� said White. 鈥淲hen he was happy.鈥�
White shared that Andrew loved playing video games and he was a big practical joker. She said he played rugby and had gone to Scotland on a rugby tour in his senior year of high school at Lord Tweedsmuir.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 think he cared too much about rugby,鈥� laughed White. 鈥淚 think he just wanted to go on the trip. (Laughs again). I seriously think that.鈥�
White told Forrest that Andrew also played rugby because he loved his rugby coach, Tweedsmuir teacher Jamie Overgaard.
鈥淚f it wasn鈥檛 for Jamie 鈥� in high school 鈥� I don鈥檛 know what would have become of my son,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hat man loved my boy and he gave him love and guidance. And my son was not an easy boy to deal with. He was a hard kid to handle, but he was a good kid. He was different. Jamie took a shine to him.鈥�
White said Overgaard had the idea to start a fundraiser in Andrew鈥檚 name. So they started the Esta Bueno Rugby Fundraiser. The fundraiser helps Grade 12 rugby players at Lord Tweedsmuir by offsetting costs for overseas rugby tours. (The third annual event will be held at Cloverdale鈥檚 Beaver Lodge sometime in the fall.)
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鈥淎t the first fundraiser, I thanked Jamie for loving my boy and he said that鈥檚 why he鈥檚 a teacher, to be there for boys like mine.鈥�
White said when Andrew was in Grade 11 he also went on a rugby tour to Smith Falls, Ont.
鈥淢y parents live there and they got to see him play,鈥� said White. 鈥淭hey normally wouldn鈥檛 have been able to see him play.鈥�
White said Andrew scored the winning try in one of the games and made it into the Smith Falls paper.
White added that it may seem strange, but she thinks there鈥檚 a reason Andrew died on 181A Street.
鈥淭hat was Andrew鈥檚 route 鈥� obviously he took it that day 鈥� but he grew up on that street. He walked on that road. He rode a bicycle on that road. He learned to drive on that road. And he died on that road.
鈥淭hat road has so many memories. I feel like that road was at the heart of who he was.鈥�
鈥� with a file from Dan Ferguson.
editor@cloverdalereporter.com
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