Whoever came up with the expression 鈥渟leep like a baby鈥� either hasn鈥檛 been a parent of a newborn or was one of the lucky ones to have a baby who slept through the night early on.
While many new moms (or dads) don鈥檛 want to admit it, their babies are exhausting them, often waking every two hours, crying and wanting to be soothed back to sleep.
Desperate to get some shut eye, parents often give into this pattern by using a prop to get their child back to sleep, whether it be nursing, rocking them, driving around, giving them a soother, a bottle, or bringing their baby to bed.
They know using a prop isn鈥檛 the answer, but they are often too tired to find a long term solution.
Life doesn鈥檛 have to be this way, says 黑马磁力鈥檚 Dawnn Whittaker, a sleep coach for more than 10 years now. With three children of her own and a background as a nanny before that, Whittaker has seen every challenge parents have with babies鈥� sleep.
鈥淚t is never too late to make changes. But it has to start with mom,鈥� said Whittaker.
For the next few months, she is offering sleep seminars at the Walnut Grove Community Centre to help parents get the answers they need to improve the whole family鈥檚 sleep. The first seminar takes place on Monday, March 5 from 7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.
鈥淚t鈥檚 not your job to put your child to sleep. It鈥檚 your job to put them to bed,鈥� she said.
Of course, a nightly routine is crucial, as all moms know, but it doesn鈥檛 mean it should take 30 minutes to get them down to sleep, she said.
Understanding a baby鈥檚 sleep patterns is key to the whole process, something she will go into at the seminars. For instance, midnight is when a baby leaves deep sleep, and between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m., they will wake often.
But they should be able to fall back to sleep on their own, just like we do, she said. That鈥檚 where sleep training comes in.
She helps more than 500 moms a year, and through that she sees the same patterns arising.
鈥淥ne mom got carpal tunnel syndrome from rocking her baby to sleep every night,鈥� she said.
鈥淧ublic health teaches us that breast is best and all these moms are breastfeeding their babies. But no one tells them how to get theses babies to fall asleep without nursing,鈥� she said.
鈥淎 lot of moms are weepy and feel overwhelmed. All of them are too tired to read books about sleep. Postpartum can be tied to lack of sleep and a couple鈥檚 relationship can be strained. Even a mom鈥檚 energy for her baby is zapped and she can easily get angry.鈥�
She said moms these days have extremely high expectations of themselves and when they can鈥檛 get their baby to sleep, they feel like they have failed. Moms are weepy and can鈥檛 be their best for their babies.
Babies tend to be fussier, tired and even exhibit 鈥渃olic鈥� symptoms because they aren鈥檛 sleeping well. Moms are bombarded with advice that comes from their mom groups, family and the dreaded Internet.
鈥淭here is too much information out there,鈥� she warns.
What she offers is insight about the ways a baby will try to break mom and how to stick with a plan even when there are hiccups like teething and illness.
鈥淢oms make a sleep diary for me and from that I can make them a personalized sleep plan. Mostly it鈥檚 about supporting them and letting them know what is going to happen when they try and how they will start to see results,鈥� she said. Many parents co-sleep and she will talk about how to get a baby into his or her own crib at the seminar.
With most moms she works with, she is able to help babies get to sleep through the night within three to four weeks.
The difference in the child鈥檚 personality, including improved eating, being happier and more alert are changes most parents find astounding.
Not to mention parents who no longer feel like zombies, she said.
鈥淚t鈥檚 too bad sleep isn鈥檛 recognized by the government as a public health issue. It鈥檚 too bad parents have to pay to get the help they deserve to give what鈥檚 best for their child and for them,鈥� she said.
Sleep seminars take place March 5, April 2 and June 4. The cost is $80 per couple. To register, email kim@cheekychops.ca. To check out Whittaker鈥檚 website go to cheekychops.ca.
